Dec 17 2015

6 Surefire Ways Your Baby Will Save You Money

6 Surefire Ways Your Baby Will Save You Money

Newborns are notorious money-suckers. As I’ve mentioned before, you need GEAR. Even before that precious little bundle arrives, you will likely get swindled into spending approximately eight gazillion dollars on everything from furniture to itty bitty onesies to diapers (cloth or disposables? Discuss! …Just kidding. Worm can: opened).

Now that the holiday season is upon us, it might be a relief to know that your infant can actually save you money in all sorts of surprising ways. For the first few months post-baby, you can go ahead and budget far less in each of the following areas:

1. Pants. In general, pants are uncomfortable. Postpartum, they’re just absurd. Whether you’re caring for a C-section wound or just can’t button the damn things anymore, it’s time to shove anything with a zipper to the far reaches of your closet. Eventually it might be necessary to venture out and acquire some new ones, because birthing hips — but not right now, or for a long while. Plus, when you’re strapped to a couch feeding an infant every two hours, there’s really no need for pants. Or, you know, clothes in general. Wardrobe shopping sprees have been rendered pointless! And guess what that equates to? Savings.

Continue reading

Oct 31 2015

It’s Halloween Day

It’s Halloween Day

I’ve never in my life experienced an eighty-degree Halloween — but then again, I’ve never experienced Halloween in California.

P didn’t care WHAT the temperature was. She has been counting down the seconds until she could wear her Elsa dress. This morning, when I went to get her out of bed, she knew the time had come.

“It’s Halloween day?!” she gasped. Everything is a day — she says things like morning day and evening day instead of just “in the evening.” No idea where she got that, but it kills me. Continue reading

Oct 15 2015

Pumpkin Patch Redux

Pumpkin Patch Redux

So we tried again.

This past weekend, we drove alllll the way back to the pumpkin patch for a redo. It was important to me that P be able to replace her “yucky” memories with new ones — and I needed to do the same. Part of phobics’ irrationality is that we tend to associate completely unrelated things with the sick event, even though we know they don’t really have anything to do with anything. (i.e. “I wore this outfit the last time someone threw up. Better not wear this outfit anymore.” Or we might remember the exact date of the last time we got sick and then become uneasy around that same date every year. Ridiculous, right? We know.) Anyway, since the pumpkin patch threatened to become a semi-scary place, I forced myself to go back ASAP.

What a relief to see the happy, non-feverish version of P! First stop: the face-painting clowns. She chose the glittery rainbow option and sat exceptionally still. Continue reading

Oct 8 2015

Confessions of an Emetophobic Parent Pumpkin Patch Fail

<span class="entry-title-primary">Confessions of an Emetophobic Parent</span> <span class="entry-subtitle">Pumpkin Patch Fail</span>

It’s October, which means it’s almost Halloween, which means I’m allowed to tell you a horror story.

For most of you, this will not be a horror story at all. This will sound like a standard, Duh-You-Have-A-Toddler-What-Did-You-Expect? story, and if you have kids, no doubt you will have been there, done that. But I am a parent who has an irrational fear of throwing up, and I can only see this experience through that lens. Continue reading

Jul 15 2015

Thank You for Saving Her Life

Thank You for Saving Her Life

Very few of our family and friends know the Snuza story, and that’s mostly because it’s so horrifying to relive. It’s also because I worry that it makes me sound incompetent, like if I actually knew what I was doing as a mother, there wouldn’t be a story in the first place.

Every time I DID tell someone about it — my parents, a handful of mom friends — I would start shivering as if the temperature had dropped. My teeth literally chattered. And while this particular story has a happy ending, I know the content may be immensely upsetting to those who have experienced a loss, and I am so, so sorry for that.

For all of these reasons, I wrestled with whether or not I should publish this post. But if it helps even one family, I think that I should maybe risk the judgment. Continue reading